Boots of Responsibility are on. I haven't looked at my phone yet. I made my bed. I slept well. I'm sitting at my computer typing up my morning pages with no censorship on what comes out. I'm off to a good start.
As I was making coffee I was thinking about my last experience in the park. I was playing ultimate with my friends and a group of students joined our group. 2 girls and 3 guys. I'd met one of them before and she was sweet. I was engaged with my friends who ended up leaving and ended up diving into my phone because I had to work- send emails, plan for Thailand, something important drove me to my device.
I didn't want to believe it at first, but I realized the group of students were talking about me. I can be very selfish and sometimes think the world revolves around me so I didn't want to presume. Unfortunately though, I was right. They were judging me. They were speaking about me, as if I were an object. I guess they thought my attention was diverted enough to not understand them, and they were kind of speaking in code. I don't know what they thought but it was disappointing. Instead of engaging with me, speak to me, they spoke about me. It reminded me of being a model and how my job for the past seven years has been to show up and be judged.
Now, I feel more confident and connected to my truth than ever before. I believe that is starting to shine through in the world around me. Light can build or light can expose the dark. We all have both. Those students were young, they were all dancers. I knew an incredibly talented dancer once, she said to me the industry was very fickle and judgmental. I never thought our industries were so relatable until I experienced it in the park the other day. I hope she's doing well.
Today looks to be another beautiful BEAUTIFUL day outside. High of 72 degrees.
A simple way to become more organized:
BUY A CALENDAR.
Write out your daily goals, and when you complete those goals, put a giant X through that day. It's a very satisfying feeling. XXXX. I'm stealing this from Austin Kleon, and he stole it from Jerry Seinfeld. "Don't break the chain." XXXXXX
Nikki comes home tomorrow. I'm excited to see her, touch her, kiss her, hold her. I'm worried I won't be able to stay as productive as I have been. That's on me though. That's my responsibility.
We all need days to do NOTHING.
Yesterday was one of those days. Its not true that I did nothing. I sent out important emails, I did handyman work around the house, I accomplished a lot but when I sat down to write, I hit a wall. I was jumping all over the place. I couldn't focus. My energy was low. Sitting here, banging my head against the computer wasn't going to get me anywhere. So, I took myself on a date to see the Jungle Book.
The movie was great, once it actually started. I actually felt sick watching all of the previews. Our country spends SOOOO much money on absolutely horrible ideas. Well, I guess someone didn't think it was a horrible idea if it was produced. Kevin Spacey as a cat dad? WTF...? How does an actor go from a character that takes the entire country to war to a cat dad....? With a big pair of balls and more money than he knows what to do with, I guess.
Anyway, Angry Birds, Cat Dad, Ice Age 17, all of these movies are for children obviously, and I really hope they have good messages, but I want to see more films about saving our planet. Our home. Not some distant land that doesn't exist in reality. As bad as they were, those previews made me hopeful. Those movies, came from ideas, a simple idea that a human being created, believed in, cultivated. If they can be made, then there really are no boundaries to what we are capable of creating. We keep creating crap, but I think we were on our way to creating less crap. I hope. I am hopeful. And now I'm hungry.
Moral of the story-
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND YOU CAN DO ANYTHING
Breakfast. Write more. Muay Thai. Park. Frisbee. Write more. Draw in the sun. Teach yoga. Diner with Christophe. It will be a glorious day.